I hate shopping carts!

It's true, I hate shopping carts. There is not a design of shopping cart that works for me now that I have three kids. Let me explain... A standard configuration goes like this. The baby's car seat is in the front, Sam is in the back, and Jack is walking beside. This starts out OK with just a few "Jack, don't touch that, Jack keep up, Jack stop hanging on the cart" warnings, but I can live with that. Then the groceries start to pile up on top of Sam until I hear Sam's famous phrase, "Mom, I stuck!" Good thing I was already planning to buy the bread he was sitting on and the box of cereal he opened. The only thing I can do at this point is remove him and let him walk. - Disaster. He is far too easily distracted by shiny things.

Speaking of being distracted by shiny things, we had Stake Conference last week. We had two ladies in the front translating the meeting into sign language. I found this very distracting and started day dreaming. I convinced myself that I could understand everything they were signing. Then I realized that it was because I could hear the speaker. On that note, Jack told me that he has a new talent. He can translate Chinese. He learned this when he walked past a sign at a Chinese restaurant that said Open. Underneath it there was Chinese writing. He determined that the Chinese writing said Open. He also said that the Chinese writing underneath the fortune cookie wrapper said fortune cooking. I told him that it might say, "Sugar for dumb American." He said, "Mom you do not know how to translate Chinese."

OK back to shopping carts. I decided that it would be easier if I carried the baby in my Moby wrap and put Sam in the front seat with the seat belt. This causes another problem - he can reach the baby with both his feet and hands, and would not stop touching, patting, and otherwise annoying both of us. Sam loves the car version of a grocery cart, but gets bored half way through and sticks hands and other body parts out the windows and dashboard. Knocks over groceries and always ends up with something that he has swiped from the shelf that I do not discover until checking out. When I saw the giant cart with the two seats in front, I thought my problems had been solved. This way the baby's seat fits in the front and the two boys can sit on their own little seats facing each other. Our trip started off OK until the boys starting arguing about something. Then Sam hauled off and punched Jack in the face. This is what follows. (By the way, I had promised treats for good behavior.)

Jack - Mom, Sam hit me in the face.
Sam - unusually quiet will not look at me.
Me - Sam, you cannot hit Jack in the face. You guys have not been good on this grocery trip and we will not be getting a treat this time. (trust me, the hitting in the face was just the last straw.)
Jack - starts bawling and saying I want a treat over and over again.
Sam - starts bawling and saying I want a treat over and over again.
Logan - has been crying for several minutes anyways.

I take the walk of shame up to the checkout stand, pay for my groceries, try not to make eye contact with other parents, and swear that I will never take three kids grocery shopping by myself again.

I hate shopping carts!